So another thing about October is that Dr Lady and I hope to find and secure some new sperm. Yes, we’re dropping our known, cheap-as-beer donor in favor of an anonymous, super-fucking-expensive donor. I don’t know what’s wrong with us, either.
But we do have good reasons. We’re planning on returning to the RE and doing the whole dog-and-pony show for our last tries, but this RE – and every other one I’ve researched – requires a six month quarantine of any known donor sperm. Which I get, at least in a CYA fashion, but seems ridiculous to us when we’ve had him tested and been using him for over a year. Six months would have been okay if we started this process back in May, but we didn’t know whether or not we’d even be here then, and I think we were already starting to wonder if using a different donor might be a good idea.
I’m sure we could still find a way to use him if we really wanted to, but honestly, I’ve changed everything but the donor in this fertility equation and I’m curious to see if that would make a difference. Plus, we had a sperm analysis done way back in May that came back less than stellar – not awful, but could definitely be better – and our donor said he’d clean up his diet and stop drinking every day. Which would have gone a long way towards helping. And he did – for a short while. Sooooo.
Plus, there are a ton of legal benefits to using an anonymous donor. And since we’re in a more financially stable place than we were a few months ago, it just seems like a good time to try.
Which leads us to my questions. I’d looked at banks a few times in the past, kind of as a passing curiosity, but now that I’m doing it for real I feel very lost. First of all, there are way more banks out there than I remember finding the first time. How did you narrow it down?
Then there’s IUI vs ICI – which we’ll talk to the RE about, but I’m already trying to suss out the difference now. It seems implied that IUI has a slightly higher success rate than ICI, but I cannot for the life of me find Real Factual Info about this. Do any of you know?
I’m sure this is more of a personal preference thing, but I’m really curious as to how you ended up selecting your donor, too. There are certainly some ways to narrow it down, but everything they write about themselves and everything the staff writes is always so positive and they start blurring together a little bit. Have you noticed any telltale descriptors that are warning signs? Does acquiring baby photos help at all? What helped you select a donor?
Also, this isn’t a question, but jesus fucking christ those vial prices. $650+ for one vial? I can’t even.
And last but not least, anything you think I should know about finding and selecting a donor would be super helpful. I’m such a noob at this. Thank you!! <3