Okay, so maybe the feeling isn’t quite the same. Not even by a long shot. But there are certainly a lot of conflicting emotions, expectations, and surrealness surrounding both.
It makes sense afterward. There’s so much heaped on that moment – by us, by our community, by society. And above all, we are supposed to feel nothing but pure joy. There is no room for any other emotion, certainly no conflict, certainly no confusion. Be happy. Just be happy. Why aren’t you happy??
Funny how so few things in life are truly that cut and dry. Processing takes time, especially for any major event in your life. And in our era of instant connection, it’s so easy to get instant feedback, to give instant feedback, instead of just taking a day – or a week – and cocooning yourself and letting all the emotions wash over you, accepting them, letting them go, and sifting through them until you get to the ones that feel right.
All that’s to say – I remember being handed a purpleish, bloody, tiny creature with a scrunched up face and thinking what the heck is this? Then falling in love over the subsequent days and weeks.
The same is apparently truer of covers than I’d expected. Except, well, it wasn’t bloody. I mean. A little bloody. And I’ve run through the whole rollercoaster of emotions this past week, all the way from what have I done to holy shit this is my life now. So perhaps Google knows.
I tend to resist the common narrative that babies and books can be compared, because when it comes down to it, I will burn the world for Lady Jr, while I might get into a Twitter spat for my book. But at least when it comes to conflicting and surprising emotions, well.
Not wrong, Google. Not wrong.