I tested this morning because a) I wanted to make sure my gut feeling was right and b) if it was positive, this would be my last Sunday cook-up where I could have a glass (or two) of wine.
My intuition is right and it was negative. I was not surprised and frankly, I was a little relieved. I want to be able to trust what my body is telling me, and it is telling me right now that this one didn’t work. So. Good to have that confirmed.
Starting to feel a little better. Haven’t cried even once today, so go me. It helps knowing that in a few days I will feel normal again. Plus, this validates my hypothesis that this whole depression is not strictly TTC related. If it were, then the BFN this morning should have sent me spiraling back down. But it did not.
I feel like I have been incredibly negative on here lately and I’m not going to apologize for it. I am going to say that I will continue chronicling my emotions because it has helped me to see that it is both an ongoing problem and cyclical. I wish I had been paying closer attention a year ago, but we have what we have. But I understand if you unfollow me because depressed people Are Not Fun.
At least it should get brighter in the days to come.
Day 1 – Ten random facts about yourself
Day 2 – Nine things you do every day
Day 3 – Eight things that annoy you
Day 4 – Seven fears/phobias
Day 5 – Six songs that you’re addicted to
Day 6 – Five things you can’t live without
Day 7 – Four memories you won’t forget
Day 8 – Three words you can’t go a day without
Day 9 – Two things you wish you could do
Day 10 – One person you can trust
Day 9: Two Things I Wish I Could Do
1) Apropos my current situation: snap out of depression whenever I felt like it, or at least as easily as people make it sound like it should be. Instead, I might as well try to turn into a train.
2) Play an instrument. Or really have any sort of musical talent. I’ve had a uke for over two years now and all I can do is strum idly. I’ve tried learning and watching youtube videos and reading books, but what I really need is a teacher and that is where this becomes a wish instead of a goal, because I just don’t have the time to devote to learning/playing. It is not my top priority. But it sure would be nice if I could actually play my uke in the evening sometimes and have it not sound like a dying cat.