We rang in the new year with friends and fire, which is always appropriate. Drinks were raised and wishes were made and everyone hoped for a better 2016 than 2015.
I sipped a cranberry tonic all evening, which I can’t recommend enough. Just cranberry juice and tonic water, but I still felt like I was celebrating. I get to drink again tomorrow, assuming my intuition is correct. We shall see.
I have already started practicing my new year’s resolution to not hesitate. I’ve been wanting to do something different with my hair for a while – it’s straight and flat and boring – but I didn’t know what until I was idly scanning pinterest one day. Within an hour I had ordered myself a curling iron with some leftover Christmas money and I couldn’t be more pleased. There’s still a learning curve, but it’s given me a boost of cuteness when I needed it most.
I also spent all of New Year’s Day wrapped in blankets and reading. It was great. I even started writing again – granted, 200 words, but that’s 200 more than I’ve written in almost a month. My only real goals for the year are to read and write more. I have a list of 20 books to read that are all firmly within my genre and I have a calendar which I’m marking off for every day that I write. These are both things that, done consistently, will improve my life. They are also some of the few things I have control over right now.
I have drinks and donuts planned for tomorrow to take the sting out of this cycle failing. I know it’s not over until it’s over, but I know my body and my body is prophesying tides of blood. Besides, it would be kind of embarrassing to have to cancel those plans because then I’d have to tell my friends why, so I’m sort of daring it. It’s like anti-jinxing. Either way I win.
So far, I’m doing surprisingly well. I’ve been a lot more gentle on myself than usual these two weeks, but I think it’s also the amount of vitamin D I’ve been taking: 4400 iu. Which is to say: a metric shit ton. 100 iu is your daily recommended, so that’s 4400%. It sounds like a lot, but I feel so much more like my usual self. I got sad when I got the BFN on Wednesday, but that sadness felt normal. None of that out of control, feeling like a truck is on my chest, unable to breathe, unable to think, unable to function, flat out depression. The true test will be tomorrow, but considering I’m normally a non-functioning mess by the end of my 2WW, I’m optimistic.
I’ve read a lot about PCOS and vitamin D, and simply needing more in general because of the PCOS. I wonder: have any of you experienced the same thing?
Hope 2016 is treating you right so far!