Tag Archives: baby sleep

Baby’s Own Room: One Week On

We’re still at 2-3 wake-ups a night. I’m so, so pleased with this. It’s kind of wonderful to wake up to her cries and realize it’s been 3 hours. I feel so much better.

But…

Always a but, right?

Things are still not ideal. Lady Jr wakes up less, yes, but her wake-ups are much longer and much tougher on all of us. We’ve tried waiting, we’ve tried responding as quickly as possible, we’ve tried feeding, we’ve tried sending in Dr Lady, we’ve tried sending in me, we’ve tried tylenol, we’ve tried gas drops, we’ve tried diaper changes – but despite all of that, Lady Jr will – at least once a night – simply not go back to sleep for at least an hour.

We hold her until she seems limp as a log, but the moment her head touches the sheets (which are flannel, so it’s not a cold thing), she starts crying/fussing. Idk what it is. But after an hour (sometimes two *sob*), she almost always stays asleep. Doesn’t seem to correspond with how well her naps were or when she goes to bed, either.

Last night, though… last night we had 3 of these hour-long wake-ups. Finally, at 3am, we muted the monitor and set a timer and stared at the ceiling. We’ve only ever let her cry 5 or 7 minutes before. This time, we decided to wait 10.

And, magically, right at 10min, right when we were about to get up and go to her, she quieted. Rolled to her side. And fell asleep.

She then proceeded to sleep from 3am to 7.30am. Four and a half hours. Wow.

So, maybe there’s hope after all. We’re going to try the 10min wait again tonight, even though it hurts to listen to her cry that long. But it hurt to put her in her own room, and overall that has turned out to be the right decision. It looks like we just keep getting in her way.

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Is This What Normal Feels Like?

Lady Jr has been in her own room – the office/nursery – for two nights. The first night went better than I had expected, but not as good as I had dreamed. I had to nurse her back to sleep three times. The first we tried to let her cry, but after 30min of intermittent checks, she was just too worked up. The second was the same result and even nursing and holding and sshing did nothing – she just cried and cried for an hour. By the third time I just went in as soon as she started crying and nursed her and that time she went back to sleep and stayed asleep.

She was up for the day at 6am. She then proceeded to take amazing naps. I don’t know if it’s related, but everything is related, so: her first nap was 1 hour long, her second was 2 hours, and her third was another hour. That just… doesn’t happen. Four hours of naps, guys. Who is this baby?

And last night – omg last night. It started out poorly. She went down just fine – literally 98% of the time she puts herself to sleep – but then around 10 she started crying and Lady couldn’t soothe her back to sleep. After half an hour she got me and I tried nursing her, but she popped back awake the moment I put her in the crib. Tried again and again and finally at 11, she stayed asleep.

She stayed asleep all the way until 2.30am. I went in and nursed her as soon as she woke up and she was back asleep pretty quickly.

Now it’s 7am and she’s starting to roll a little bit but she’s still asleep.

Yeah – that’s right. Lady Jr only woke up twice last night. Twice.

That hasn’t happened since literally January, maybe December. Holy shit. Is this how everyone else feels in the morning? Functional before coffee and actually awake after? This is amazing. I could go for a run. I already pumped and wrote two pages and edited a few more.

Two wake-ups is amazing. I’m cool with that.

Hopefully I didn’t just jinx it, but about time.

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Sleep: And Now For Something Completely Different.

We’re re-evaluating. Yeah. That’s the word. Certainly not giving up completely. Nope.

It’s funny. I was glancing through old blog posts (’cause baby pics) and saw my own comment about oh no, baby was only sleeping three hours. Then only two. And now I laugh. And laugh. And sob.

Saturday night was pretty rough. 45min here. 30min there. Then the baby decided 5.30am was the time to get up and no amount of cuddling, feeding, sshing could get her back to sleep for more than a minute or two. Sunday was awful. I was a wreck. I drank an entire pot of coffee and didn’t even feel it. I dreaded Sunday night, didn’t want to go to sleep because I’d gotten to the what’s-the-point stage, but I did, and things were a little better. Baby slept 2 hours here and 2 hours there and I didn’t sleep for the full amount of either of those chunks, but apparently two 90min chunks is enough to get by.

Could we have fucked things up by trying to sleep train and then stopping? I don’t know. The problem with sleep training is that you need to be relatively not exhausted to do it properly, but if you need to sleep train then you’re probably already exhausted, and that first night is just going to exhaust you further. Like I said, I’m barely functioning on good days, so…

So we’re not going to continue, not until I can stop freaking out/crying/shutting down at the littlest thing. Instead, we’re going to focus on extending the times between feeds, which is slightly easier. It means we can still ssh and pat and give her the pacifier and hold her to help her fall and stay asleep, just stick to no boob until a certain hour. Easier to remember in the middle of the night when you don’t know what day or year it is. Easier, too, to calm a crying baby than lie there, listening to her cry and cry and cry.

Last night, baby went four hours, twice(!), between feeds. This is the longest she’s done since before the sleep regression. This is great, now we just have to stick with it. For a few nights, now, we’ve been sticking with no less than three hours, except very close to morning, when the last feed might be too disruptive if we pushed it off too long.

I’m giving it three more weeks. In three weeks, baby will be six months. In three weeks, the nights will be less cold and therefore the office – aka her room – will be less cold. In three weeks, she has another doctor appointment and maybe we can make 100% sure nothing else is going on. In three weeks, I’ll either be a broken shell of a human being or this gentler method will have absolutely revolutionized everything – no inbetween.

In three weeks, I should be 100% on board with the sleep training thing instead of the 90% I was. Apparently 90% isn’t good enough. Apparently that 10% of doubt festers and eats at your mind when it’s 9.30pm and the baby’s been crying off and on for 40min. Who knew.

(You did, probably. We were warned, after all.)

(Nevertheless, we persisted)

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Last Night Went Better Than I’d Hoped

I slept in the front office for half the night and left Dr Lady with a bottle and the baby. I was so exhausted that I couldn’t actually sleep and I ended up taking a 1/2 benadryl. I woke up anyway two hours later because apparently that’s just how I work now.

I crept into the bedroom at midnight where there was a sleeping baby and wife and proceeded to stay awake for another hour. The other half of the benadryl helped me get back to sleep. The baby fussed a little at 1am, but paused before picking her up and she calmed down and went back to sleep. When she fussed again at 2am, I fed her because my boobs were hurting.

She didn’t fuss again until 5am, but again fell back asleep before I fed her. Then she fussed at 6am and I fed her and got up.

Now it’s almost 8am and she is still asleep somehow. She’s rolling back and forth though, so she’ll be up very soon. According to Lady, she cried off and on from 9ish until 10, when Lady gave her the bottle and then was out like a light. So:

7.10pm in crib, rolled over and fell asleep
8.30pm woke up and fussed. We went in and soothed her back asleep.
9pm I went to bed.
9-10pm Baby fussed off and on.
10pm Baby ate a bottle.
1am Fuss, back to sleep
2am Fuss, fed.
5am Fuss, back to sleep.
6am Fuss, fed.
8am – awake??

That. Is. Amazing.

The only thing we did differently was keep me faaar away from baby. Like I said, I was in the office for part of the night, and then when I came in, I slept on the other side of the bed. I also washed the sheets yesterday so that they wouldn’t smell like milk.

In conclusion, I don’t think we need to sleep train. At least not now. I think we need to just work on stretching those times between feeds longer and longer until we hit 4 or 5 hours. Honestly, I’m okay with last night – I can go a long time with nights like that – but it’s also the bare minimum I need to function.

I plan on repeating this experiment tonight, of me first sleeping in another room, then staying away from baby when I come in. The other big change is I’m no longer going to side nurse her, which is what I had resorted to when the sleep got real bad. I am 90% certain she now associates just lying on her side with nursing (apparently she tried to eat Lady’s elbow last night), which is no bueno when she now sleeps on her side all the time.

Holy wow what a difference a little sleep makes. Now, hopefully, this is the start of some sort of improvement and not just another random blip.

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Gonna go ahead and jinx it

I know speaking of the Good Sleep will only jinx it and/or chase it away, but I have to write this down somewhere in case it never happens again:

Lady Jr went seven hours last night!

After two hours of crying, some of which broke my heart, she must have plum worn herself out. Seven hours is two past the official Sleeping Through the Night five hour criteria, so I guess we can say she’s done it. Of course, I didn’t sleep through the night, but I got several, individual hours of sleeping plus the three my wife made sure I got (by taking baby) and then I kept waking up and watching her wiggle and thinking is she going to wake up now??

Anyway. I accept the consequences of publicly mentioning her incredible number of hours slept. She will not do this again any time soon. But now I have hope that she can. There’s a light at the end of this tunnel after all.

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