Category Archives: gaybies

10 Things on a Friday

May DITL

I’ve been more quiet than usual lately, even with my Strong Mom posts. While once a week seemed like too often to post about Lady Jr, once a month doesn’t feel like enough. But I’m also not sure how to group things, because she (and we) change in fits and bursts. So I’ll just randomly jot down my musings for now.

1) I think we’ve entered a leap. Someone is super fussy and only wants to be held and has started crying when we do diaper changes / clothing changes again. Which is unfortunate, because the whole eating solid foods thing has necessitated more clothing changes than usual. She reaches her hands towards us when we swoop in to pick her up, though, and it’s just… ah. My heart.

2) Eating! Literally, from one day to another she went from kinda sucking on things to actually eating. Lady mentioned that she’d devoured most of a beet slice one day and I was, mmm, doubtful, but then Lady Jr chomped off a piece of avocado and *ate it*. Then she devoured most of a piece of chicken. And slurped down some apple sauce. And the next day ate two big pieces of chicken and wanted nothing to do with anything on her spoon. So she went from occasionally eating a teeny piece here or rather to devouring most of what we give her, then poking around her plate for more.

3) Oh, but her poops though. Man, we were warned, but solid-food poop is rank. It’s also so much more, well, solid and obviously difficult for her. I hope she gets used to it / it gets better soon. We’re trying to make sure she gets some veggies and fats along with all that chicken (geez girl), but I imagine her microbiome also must adjust with her intake.

4) She can sit up for a full 3-5 seconds unsupported now. Soon. Soon.

5) Sleep! Twice now, somebody has slept 6ish hours in a row. She’s reliably doing only 2 wakings a night and I think she may be dropping one of those. I actually slept 6 hours one of those stretches – the longest I’ve slept since, well, probably June or May of last year. It was amazing.

6) Somebody also sometimes likes to wake up at 2am and start running her pacifier along the bars of her crib like she’s in jail. >>

7) I am really loving 7 months.

8) Not baby-related, but life-related: I finished the latest draft of my WIP last week and it’s going out to betas soon. If they don’t hate it, then it’ll just need some light edits before I turn it in to my editor. Translation: omfg I’m going to make my deadline! YAaaaaass. I’m still not entirely sure how I actually wrote a novel with a newborn, but it happened and hopefully it is never that hard again.

Ahaha, who am I kidding, it will be.

9) There is no 9.

10) Life is actually really good right now. I miss having friends in town, but it’s not been as bad as I’d expected, especially since I’m really effing busy between baby, wife, day job, writing, cleaning, cooking, and, well, occasionally exercising. I count my blessings every single day, because I am so so lucky to be able to work from home, to have the job I do, to have the wife I do, to have all of this. I am content, but I also have things to strive for, and that is the best place for me to be.

 

One more pic for good luck:

May DITL

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Seven Months

It’s a Lady Jr update!! Someone is seven months. Hint: the baby. Someone also has a double ear infection, mild bronchitis, and the saddest coughs. Hint: still the baby. Because moms don’t get sick. Duh.

Lady Jr started out with sniffles, progressed to fever, and then on Wednesday was both very sleepy/sluggish and full of green snot, so we panicked and made a doctor’s appointment. She slept almost 13 hours straight that night (almost: she was very woefully coughing/crying at 1am and probably would have fallen back asleep on her own, but I wanted to check on her and feed her, so) and looked a lot better Thursday morning and we almost canceled the appointment. But it was a good thing we didn’t, because poor baby’s ears. So she’s on her first round of antibiotics and she’ll be back to the ped in two weeks to make sure things are better.

This morning she looked/sounded a lot better and her fever’s been gone for 24+ hours, so she’s back at daycare. I always feel bad sending her when she’s under the weather, but otherwise she’d be home half the time and I’d never be able to work, so. :/

Okay! Seven months. What do we have here. Lists!

– Lady Jr is in her own room! And by own room, I mean she’s sharing my office. And it’s going really, really well. I am getting more sleep. She is getting more sleep. She’s waking 2-3 times a night and I am already used to this. Maybe too used to it. Already worrying about future nights where she’ll be waking up more often.

No teeth! The ped briefly got us excited when she was like, “is that a tooth!” but then she realized, no, no it wasn’t. Still no sign of teeth and I am OK with that. She can wait until 1 year to teethe if she wants. That’s cool.

Food! We’re doing mostly BLW with a little bit of puree thrown in here and there. She will actually hold the spoon herself and suck whatever is on there off, so it’s spoon feeding but not? IDK. She’s had sweet potato, egg yolk, avocado, chicken, pork shoulder, pea puree, chicken broth, naan, carrot, broccoli, chicken liver pate, roast parsnip, roast beets, hummus, and probably some other random things that we’ve handed her. She looooooooves beets, it’s so friggin cute. Everything else she’s pretty happy to suck on, too, but avocados maybe not so much.

Right now we try to give her something in the morning and the evening, although not so much the last few days since she’s been sick. Also evenings are hit or miss because sometimes she’s just too tired when she gets home from daycare. But we’re trying! Really! She just seems more interested in sucking on things than actually eating them.

No crawling! But she’s starting that process, for sure. She’s rocking back and forth and occasionally pushing up with her back legs, but she hasn’t figure out that she has to lift her chest, too. Idk how much longer we have before we have to start baby-proofing. A little afraid of that, TBH.

– Overall, she just seems more aware. She’s always watching us pretty intently and I feel more and more like she’s observing instead of just staring. I think we’re even learning object permanence. Yesterday Lady was holding her at the ped and I was trying to distract her with a doll. I hid the doll from her sight and she actually craned forward, trying to find it. She’s legit never done that before, so: yay!

– Physically, since we got to visit the ped yesterday, we know she’s 13lb 8oz, which is like, teeny for this age. 3rd percentile, says the internet. Welp. I guess somebody’s gotta be on the edge of the bell curve. Her eyes are still blue, but her hair is turning white-blonde. Which was somewhat expected, since I had white-blonde hair until I was 7 or 8. Still a little weird and it makes her hair look patchy, since the white blends in.

– I love this baby so much. ❤

 

 

OMG HOW COULD I FORGET I HAVE A PIC OF HER EATING BEETS HERE HAVE A GREAT FRIDAY

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Baby’s Own Room: One Week On

We’re still at 2-3 wake-ups a night. I’m so, so pleased with this. It’s kind of wonderful to wake up to her cries and realize it’s been 3 hours. I feel so much better.

But…

Always a but, right?

Things are still not ideal. Lady Jr wakes up less, yes, but her wake-ups are much longer and much tougher on all of us. We’ve tried waiting, we’ve tried responding as quickly as possible, we’ve tried feeding, we’ve tried sending in Dr Lady, we’ve tried sending in me, we’ve tried tylenol, we’ve tried gas drops, we’ve tried diaper changes – but despite all of that, Lady Jr will – at least once a night – simply not go back to sleep for at least an hour.

We hold her until she seems limp as a log, but the moment her head touches the sheets (which are flannel, so it’s not a cold thing), she starts crying/fussing. Idk what it is. But after an hour (sometimes two *sob*), she almost always stays asleep. Doesn’t seem to correspond with how well her naps were or when she goes to bed, either.

Last night, though… last night we had 3 of these hour-long wake-ups. Finally, at 3am, we muted the monitor and set a timer and stared at the ceiling. We’ve only ever let her cry 5 or 7 minutes before. This time, we decided to wait 10.

And, magically, right at 10min, right when we were about to get up and go to her, she quieted. Rolled to her side. And fell asleep.

She then proceeded to sleep from 3am to 7.30am. Four and a half hours. Wow.

So, maybe there’s hope after all. We’re going to try the 10min wait again tonight, even though it hurts to listen to her cry that long. But it hurt to put her in her own room, and overall that has turned out to be the right decision. It looks like we just keep getting in her way.

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Is This What Normal Feels Like?

Lady Jr has been in her own room – the office/nursery – for two nights. The first night went better than I had expected, but not as good as I had dreamed. I had to nurse her back to sleep three times. The first we tried to let her cry, but after 30min of intermittent checks, she was just too worked up. The second was the same result and even nursing and holding and sshing did nothing – she just cried and cried for an hour. By the third time I just went in as soon as she started crying and nursed her and that time she went back to sleep and stayed asleep.

She was up for the day at 6am. She then proceeded to take amazing naps. I don’t know if it’s related, but everything is related, so: her first nap was 1 hour long, her second was 2 hours, and her third was another hour. That just… doesn’t happen. Four hours of naps, guys. Who is this baby?

And last night – omg last night. It started out poorly. She went down just fine – literally 98% of the time she puts herself to sleep – but then around 10 she started crying and Lady couldn’t soothe her back to sleep. After half an hour she got me and I tried nursing her, but she popped back awake the moment I put her in the crib. Tried again and again and finally at 11, she stayed asleep.

She stayed asleep all the way until 2.30am. I went in and nursed her as soon as she woke up and she was back asleep pretty quickly.

Now it’s 7am and she’s starting to roll a little bit but she’s still asleep.

Yeah – that’s right. Lady Jr only woke up twice last night. Twice.

That hasn’t happened since literally January, maybe December. Holy shit. Is this how everyone else feels in the morning? Functional before coffee and actually awake after? This is amazing. I could go for a run. I already pumped and wrote two pages and edited a few more.

Two wake-ups is amazing. I’m cool with that.

Hopefully I didn’t just jinx it, but about time.

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The Big Move

April 2017

For the longest time I couldn’t even consider moving Lady Jr to her own room, aka my office. The thought of not being right next to her at night, of not being able to just open my eyes and watch her breathe, of not being able to grab her as soon as she woke up and started crying… it was just too much.

Well, that all changed this last week. Both Lady and I are now 100% (okay, more like 90%) ready to move Lady Jr out. Sleep seemed like it was getting better. Lady Jr was still waking up at 9pm ish, but putting herself back to sleep. Then she was able to go until 12am before she wanted food. Which is 5+ hours and way way better than where we’d been at.

But those times she was able to sleep that well were times I spent in the office. For five days I slept in the office part of the night and for five days Lady Jr had an increasingly easier time putting herself back to sleep and staying asleep.

On the sixth day, I returned to the bedroom. And Lady Jr woke up at 9.30 and cried. And cried. And cried. I tried to pretend I wasn’t there, but after Lady came in twice and tried soothing Lady Jr, I finally tried putting my hand on her. Then holding her. Then sshing her. Then, finally, feeding her. But she still cried. She didn’t fall back asleep until after 10.30. Later that night, she woke up again and cried for over an hour. The next night, she woke up at 4am and cried until 6am. That next morning, Lady and I looked at each other, bleary and exhausted, and agreed It Was Time.

Clearly, we were interfering with Lady Jr’s sleep, even by just being in the room. Last night I tried to sneak in at 9pm and somehow the creak of the door woke her up, when it never had before. We’ve noticed over the last few weeks that she seems more and more sensitive to us being in there. There have been multiple times when all it takes for her to calm down is for us to leave the room. The evidence couldn’t be much clearer.

We’ll need to completely re-arrange the office and move a bunch of furniture and then take apart and reassemble the crib and hope to All That’s Good that we still have all the screws for the crib somewhere and then (maybe?) set up the pack-n-play in our room in case we need to bring her back in, but. I don’t know. This might go exceedingly well. We also might end up bringing the crib back into our room. But we’re both agreed that if we don’t try now, right now, before the separation anxiety begins, we’ll have to wait six months or more. And we’re both so, so tired.

I don’t regret waiting this long to put her in her own room. We couldn’t have moved her before this, period. But she no longer needs to eat every 2-3 hours and she clearly has a strong sleep habit in the middle of the night where she thinks she needs us to put her back to sleep. She doesn’t. I’ve seen her put herself back to sleep more than a handful of times now. She just needs to learn the confidence to do it consistently.

Also this way if she decides to wake up at 3am and roll around cooing, she can do just that and I can sleep and not watch her, wondering if I should try to put her back to sleep or not.

We start this weekend. I’m worried and afraid but at the same time – quite hopeful. If nothing else, Lady stays up until 10pm most nights, so she can handle the 9pm wake up and I can get that much more sleep.

If anyone else has gone through the bedroom to nursery transition and has sage advice (or any advice [or extra coffee lying around]), I’d love to hear it. Or just encouragement. I expect this weekend will be rough.

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More Firsts

Lady Jr’s first solids – avocado!

 

april-27

 

Lady Jr’s first Easter.

DITL April 2017

 

Lady Jr’s first microbiology book.

DITL April 2017

 

Lady Jr’s first time sitting on a picnic blanket in the backyard.

 

And Lady Jr’s first sweet potato, which she seems to like a whole lot more than avocado.

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Six Months!

april-9

Six months?? Six months!! She’s no longer a squish, that’s for sure. She is a ham and a delight and I know I’ve been saying that since January, but omgosh every week she’s so much hammier.

She had her 6 month check-up this week. We have a 13# 4oz baby, which is somewhere around the 5th percentile (they marked 13# 14oz on her sheet and said 15%, but like, I watched them weigh her and that was not 14oz – also she’d been 13# 2.5oz the week before when she went in for fever/cold/rash). I think they also marked her height wrong, because she dropped from 70% to 50%. Oh well. It doesn’t matter in the long run, but she is a looong skinny baby and it doesn’t look like that’s going to change any time soon.

Otherwise: ear infection cleared up on it’s own, cough is almost completely gone, basically in one of her rare, non-cold instances and feeling 99% healthy – so perfect time for shots! Yaay… boo. Our happy baby quickly became unhappy, but I think we’re through the worst of it.

Sleep

…ahahah.

Well. She’s doing a few 2 hour chunks each night, but she’s refusing to go back to sleep unless nursed, which I have only been reinforcing because a) she was sick and had an ear infection for a week or so and b) my wife was sick and needed as much sleep as she could get. But now we’re on the other side of both of those, so we’re committed to soothing and letting her cry and *not* feeding her back to sleep every 60-120min. She’s six months old. She absolutely does not need to eat 6+ times a night.

But even with just getting those 2 hour chunks most nights, I feel 100% better. More like my usual self. I’ve been able to start organizing the house and even think about cutting down on some of the clutter we’ve accumulated since we moved and some of the clutter we brought with us and really shouldn’t have. Time is still scarce, so we’ll see how much I can actually get done.

So. Sleep currently looks like this:
7pm bedtime
9pm wake up, feed
11pm wake up, feed
1am wake up, feed
2am wake up, try to soothe back to sleep, feed
3am wake up, try to soothe back to sleep, feed
4.30am wake up, wide-eyed and bushy-tailed. Feeding does nothing. Usually goes back to sleep after 30-45min
6.30-7am wake up for the day

Blrgh. Not ideal, but still so much better than it was. I’ve mostly accepted our lot. Problem is, there’s no room for a backslide. If she does any worse than that, my day is ruined. So we really need to work on this, I just… listening to her cry at 12am is difficult.

Anyway. Enough about sleep.

 

Solids

The doctor encouraged us to start solids, even though Lady Jr isn’t really showing any signs of readiness – she can’t sit up unassisted, she’s not very good at the pincer grasp, she’s uninterested in what we’re eating, etc. I thought that was weird, so we’re compromising by making food available, but not forcing baby to eat it. We’ve put avocado in front of her twice now and she mostly mushed it around, but once she stuck her avocado-covered fingers in her mouth, so… progress?

Idk, I think I need to do more research on baby-led weaning, since that’s the approach I want to take. Just… how much mashing, how much purees, how much gnawing? Idk.

 

Stroller

But my favorite part about six months is we’ve been cleared to go running together! I ordered a running stroller off of Amazon last week (the week before?) and we’ve been… getting used to it while just walking. Man, strollers are such a different experience from baby-wearing. For one, she’s so far away. For another, I can’t feel her falling asleep or getting upset. There’s a little flap on top of the stroller cover to peer in, but I can’t see her face, so I still have to stop and go around to check on her.

She’s been… less than thrilled so far. She’s gotten upset both times I’ve taken her out in it. I assume all I can really do is keep taking her out on short walks, but I miss having her snuggled up next to me. But, alas, can’t run with a baby carrier. And I want to run with her…

Any tips on how to make the stroller less of a scary experience for a baby? It might just be that both she and I need to adjust.

What else, what else…

 

Milestones

She grabs for anything and everything and can almost always get it. She’s started reaching, too – reaching for cups and faces and cats. She wants to touch the cats, which is new. She seems interested in them.

She can turn the pages of a board book. We’re 99% sure daycare taught her this neat trick.

She just started rolling belly to back (again), at least at night, while she’s half asleep. I don’t think she knows she can do this, yet.

High-pitched shrieking. Yeah. Not enjoyable.

Can occasionally sit unassisted for a few seconds before toppling over, vs immediately toppling.

Has started rolling over and sleeping on her belly at night. Usually this turns into a longer stretch of sleep than usual.

 

And now that you’ve made it through all of that, have some pics:

april-24

april-22

 

Daycare wanted a family pic, so…
april-17

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