8 Weeks

8 Weeks

Lady Jr:

Good days, bad days. She screamed through the evenings half of this week, and was relatively calm the other half. We’ve given up on predicting these episodes and just go with the flow. So sometimes I get sleep and sometimes I don’t. Oh well.

She can hold her head up while I carry her around close to my chest and the last few walks she’s been awake and looking out/around for more than just a minute here and there. She’s tried to grab my arm and has started grabbing diaper liners at changing time. She smiles and babbles and turns her head this way and that. I think I caught the beginning of a laugh the other day. She looked up and saw the mobile on her bouncer this morning and watched it with no small amount of delight.

Sleep is improving in fits and starts. One night last week she went five hours and twenty minutes between feeds. I’d say five hours asleep, but she woke up in the middle with a wet diaper. By the time I’d changed it, she was already out like a light. Then these past two nights she’s been waking up every two and a half hours again. She still refuses to go to bed before 11pm, but at least she doesn’t wake up until after 7am.

When she wakes up, sometimes it’s with a few screams and sometimes she just opens her eyes and looks around. The latter seems to be happening more and more often.

Speck:

I am re-learning every song I’ve ever known as I try to sing this baby to sleep at night. Recently, I’ve memorized Mein Kleiner Gruener Kaktus. Next I’m aiming for 99 Luftballoons. Idk, maybe German songs will make her feel sleepy in the future?

I’m starting to feel fat. I haven’t lost any weight since that initial drop and the sleep dep and bad eating means that whatever calories I’m burning through breast feeding are being negated. I wish I could exercise more than just going for walks, but most days I can’t imagine going for a run, let alone lifting, because I’m so tired. And on the good days, I just don’t have a chance because I can’t really take baby running or lifting with me. She can at least go on walks.

I’ve graduated from simply trying to keep this little chub alive to thinking of her as a kind of super-needy pet to beginning to realize this is a tiny human and I am one of her moms. I can’t stand to hear her crying and it’s getting harder and harder for me to hand her off to grandma so I can sleep/write/pee. I feel super guilty whenever I’m not there with her, paying attention to her, etc etc even though I know at this age existing is enough stimulation for her.

I’ve also come face to face with almost every single one of my faults over the past two months. I thought becoming a mother was supposed to elevate you into an instantly self-less, caring individual, not lay bare all the ugliness you never knew was there. I’m much more controlling than I’d ever thought and just plain mean sometimes. I’m working on both but… I can see why marriages fall apart after a baby. You have to be really, really aware of what you’re doing and saying and why.

Dr Lady:

She’s still having a hard time with the work/baby/life balance. Evenings are a little bit easier for her now that baby is not always throwing a screaming fit and I’ve been staying up, but she’s worried about how little time she gets to spend with the baby.

Also that I’m less and less willing to relinquish the baby when she’s fussy. Because well, I’ve been with baby all day and know what’s up and can usually get her to calm down quickly. But then Dr Lady never gets a chance to figure out what’s up and feels even less connected with her daughter. So Lady Jr fusses and fusses and then I swoop in and she stops fussing and the end result is Dr Lady feels like a failure and I feel like I always have to soothe the baby. 😦 It’s a hurdle I never anticipated, and any hints or tips would be greatly appreciated. And it’s not just Dr Lady – I keep swooping in on grandma, too. Aaggh.

Now that you’ve suffered through all that, have some pics!

8weekprogress

Being 8 weeks and nigh 2 months, I thought I’d look back at how much Lady Jr has grown and wow. Above are, from top left clockwise, 1 week, three weeks, six weeks, and 8. Those first few months when she was just a wee worm seem like so long ago now.

december-18

Lady Jr and Dr Lady.

 

december-10

Content floor time.

 

And bonus! first sticky snow this seasons. I’m excite. My more snow-experienced Minnesotan wife is less so.

SNOW!!

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9 Comments

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9 responses to “8 Weeks

  1. She’s so cute! She’s starting to get her real face and losing the newborn look, I always like those progression photos from the first few weeks/months.
    I was like you in the beginning. I often tell people I felt like a wild animal guarding her young, I totally swooped and snapped, when I reminisce about those early days. What helped us was me totally giving up the evenings to my wife, and going so far as leaving the house when she was crying and I couldn’t stand it. I’m not saying I cold turkeyed the swooping, but I made an effort 🙂

  2. AndiePants

    The swoop is an easy habit to develop, especially if you’re the boobs. The way I broke myself of it was too be out of the room and unable to do it – in the bath, getting coffee, etc. It allows the other folks to develop their special methods of soothing and gain confidence. That’s my only tip. I think you’ll find that 3 months is a game changer for you and lady Jr. In terms of sleeping and feeling more able to function as a real human. And 3 months is so close!

    • I should have known this was a Thing with an official name. There’s so much shared commonality in being a mom, I kind of love it.
      I’ll take the advice of trying to do things where I just can’t stop. Lately it’s been naps and I just end up lying there, willing myself not to get up and go check on whoever is watching her at the time. It’s hard!

  3. Oh, I love seeing her eyes! So alert and ready to take on the world.

    We sing German songs too. We’ve been singing “Die Jahresuhr” (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MGgANcsBPlo, http://www.metrolyrics.com/die-jahresuhr-lyrics-rolf-zuckowski.html), and I discovered that “Oh how lovely is the evening,” which I know from childhood, was originally written in German.

    By the way, I still have a present for Lady Jr. If you’d be willing to give me your snailmail address I can send it to you — or if not, just say no thanks and I’ll stop bugging you about it.

  4. I wish I had advice for the swooping. My anxiety made it so bad that there was just no way I couldn’t swoop. Eventually, baby got bigger and less dependent and it became easier and easier for me to quit it. Now there are days when Charlotte is clingy and moody and i literally skip out the door as the nanny takes over! All things in time, mama. ❤️

  5. At 5 months (4 months adjusted), my swooping is going strong. In fact, bebe has just recently started voicing her STRONG preference for me, which is both a boost to my ego and crushingly sad to think my wife feels like bebe doesn’t want her to soothe her. It’s definitely A LOT about the boobs. She’s milking the comfort nursing thing big time right now, but I think teeth might have a lot to do with that. No advice, just letting you know that it’s normal and I’m also hoping it will pass. When I’m not home, I figure that wife, nanny, or grandma must figure out something to soothe her without boobs.

  6. Amy

    Yup, swooping is strong with me too. And it makes my wife feel inferior. She used to get upset about it, but now she can joke about it. When I swoop in and take her from other friends and family when her lip starts to quiver, my wife laughs “don’t worry, it’s not just you, she doesn’t trust me to soothe the baby either”. Wish it wasn’t this way, but I think it’s innate, coming from deep within the reptilian brain.
    And those pictures are awesome! It’s so cool to see how much she has grown in these few short weeks! You can really see personality shining through in the recent pics ☺ So cute!!

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