This last week has included the lowest lows and the highest highs so far. I think I’m suffering from whiplash.
We went from inconsolable screaming and the depths of sleep dep hell to a baby who smiles and babbles and is – for the most part – content during the day.
Nights are still another thing.
But I can see the light ahead and as long as I get a modicum of uninterrupted sleep, everything is okay.
Smiles, coos, laughs. Made eye contact for the first time. Likes to sit in my lap and look around. Also likes to sit in the high chair my brother got us and watch us cook. Also loooves to be in the carrier, looking around. We had a family photo session while my brother and sis-in-law were in town and I was hoping Lady Jr would just sleep through it instead of crying, but she surprised us all by not only being awake, but being content.
Still having gas troubles. It subsided for a few days, but came back again. It doesn’t seem as bad, but the poor thing just seems to be made of farts sometimes.
Still having trouble getting her to sleep in the evenings. I suspect we’re just going about it all wrong. One time last week she went down at 7.30 and stayed down, but of course I can’t remember what we did differently that day. Last night she screamed and fussed until 11. I don’t mind waking up with her every 3 hours throughout the night at this point – I just want to figure out how we can avoid a four hour fussathon.
She is better about sleep, slowly. She needs the bouncer to be on to fall asleep, but once asleep she’ll stay stay that way even when it turns off – but only at night. A few times she’s even fallen asleep on her own in the bouncer if we put her in sleepy, which is awesome. Now we’re working on transitioning her to her box and – eventually – her crib. Just now I got her to fall asleep in her box, even though she didn’t stay asleep long. But it’s all progress.
From the depths of sleep dep hell I have ascended to… normalcy. Or what passes as normalcy these days. Still frustrated when I can’t get anything else done except sleep and take care of the baby. Still anxious about this big project due at the end of January. Still wish I could just sleep for three hours straight.
But I’m doing better and as long as I take a deep breath and put Lady Jr in her carrier and get something – anything done – I feel okay.
Physically, I’m still walking 3+ miles most days and my OB cleared me for all activity last week, so I’ve thrown in a lifting session or two for mental health. They’re light and slow and still I feel like I’ve lost a lot of strength. I’m going to keep it at 2 or less sessions per week until three months and avoid going too heavy. This is just to get back to doing something that makes me happy, not to lose weight or rebuild strength.
Speaking of weight, I feel like I dropped a lot in the first two weeks and then just stopped. I hadn’t been thinking about it – it’s not a priority when you’re too exhausted to move – but I’ve become increasingly self conscious about my lingering pudge and round face. Only a few of my loosest skirts fit and most of my shirts are super tight – although that’s probably because of these giant boobs, honestly. Nothing to do for it yet, except try not to let it bother me.
Watching her struggle with work/baby/life balance has made me nervous to go back to work myself, even part time. There are just not enough hours in the day. The long weekend helped a lot, letting her bond with baby again, but she’s had a rough time feeling like an equal part of the team. It doesn’t help that the time she gets home in the evening is generally when Lady Jr is gearing up for a fussathon.
We thought that letting her have Lady Jr while I slept in the evenings would be best, but then a) I don’t really see my wife and b) my wife, tired from working all day, gets the exquisite joy of calming an inconsolable baby by herself. Not exactly fair. So we’re tag-teaming again.
Her science is going, when it can. It’s hard to get much done when she’s only there for five or six hours, but she’s starting to be able to be there longer some days.
I’m sure we’ll find balance eventually. Sleep first.