Five Weeks Old



Lady Jr: We’re here and there with the fussy days. She’ll be (mostly) content for a day or two then quite fussy for another day or two. There doesn’t seem to be any pattern to it – I’m eating the same things and it doesn’t seem like she should be having a bunch of mini, frequent growth spurts. We’re just going with the flow, though – the fussy isn’t too bad as long as we can trade off and take a break. The worst patch so far was a four hour evening stretch for Dr Lady right after I had gone to bed.

It also helps that her fussy isn’t an hour straight of screaming. We can usually get her to calm down, but only 5 or 10 minutes at a time before she realizes she’s still in the throes of an existential crisis. Having multiple ways we can try to soothe her helps. Right now, loud white noise has been a life-saver. Not only will it quiet her, but sometimes it’ll even send her back to sleep.

Changes this week:

– When I pick her up now, her muscles in her body and neck are strong enough to stop her from flopping like a wet noodle, which means I can finally do some one-handed holding and pick ups. This has made life in general about 200% easier. There’s so much more you can do one-handed than no-handed.

–  She definitely has her nights and days squared away. She still wakes every 2, 3, very rarely 4 hours, but she’ll slip back to sleep with minimal fuss and holding. This means I’m getting more sleep, too, and I’ve noticed the difference. Right now I usually go to sleep around 7 or 8pm and wake up at 12 or 1am to switch shifts with Dr Lady. From then until 6 or 7am, I get a few 20min naps and, if I’m lucky, a full hour on the couch with her in the bouncer. Altogether I get a decent 6 hours each night and that’s apparently enough for me to be a real human being.

– Unfortunately, she’s become more sensitive to the bouncer turning off. She had been in deep enough sleep to sleep through that transition, but I guess the 1 month mental leap, where she’s supposed to be aware of more things, includes that. I’m fairly trained at this point to turn the bouncer back on while half asleep, so it’s almost like I get uninterrupted sleep, right??

– Re: sleep, she pulled an amazing 10 hours without peeing one night. I was so weirded out by her dry diaper that I googled it, but apparently this is normal once they really figure out the night/day thing. Of course she hasn’t done it since, but I’m hopeful. One last thing to do when she wakes at night = more sleep for me.

– We’ve caught a few non-gassy smiles, although they don’t seem  to be in response to anything yet. She’s expanded her noise repertoire beyond just crying and it’s super cute. She’s awake and content more and more during the day. She still hates tummy time with a passion. Her head and eyes will sometimes follow someone as they pass by, especially if it’s me.

One more week until peak fussy. I keep wanting to say things like, this ain’t so bad but I don’t want to jinx it, yet… it ain’t so bad. I think she is a pretty average baby. Phew.


Speck: With better sleep comes better moods. Of course, I’m not the one dealing with her evening fussy times, so.

I’m doing well with the healing. Honestly, I think I’m almost 100%. I’ve been on several 3+ mile walks and even went for two (very!) short runs last week. I had to lift and move around the weights in the garage, including the loaded barbell, and that all felt like it had before. And I can even do sit-ups again! My six week PP appointment is next week, so my goal this week is to get the garage gym ready for my return.

The hardest thing for me right now is being so stuck at home. Mom & dad took her on Sunday for part of the afternoon and Dr Lady and I went out by ourselves for the first time in five weeks. It felt so incredibly normal, like nothing had changed at all, and it wasn’t until we were on our way back home that I realized I hadn’t even texted to ask how baby was doing. Then I felt a bit guilty. But honestly, I trusted mom to let us know if something was wrong and it was just great not to really worry – well, except getting back in time to feed the baby.

I looove Lady Jr’s (relative) predictability. Most of the time, she will go 2-3 hours between feeds. Only in the evening and mid-morning does she sometimes cluster feed and get super fussy, so as long as I time it right, we can go out and run errands with her or go for walks or do other things without worrying she’ll get upset. I can take a shower every day because I know once she has her second morning feed, I’ve got 3 hours until she wakes up again. I leave the bathroom door open just in case, but I’ve long since stopped worrying she’s going to start screaming while I’m washing my hair or – gasp! – shaving my legs.

I just… it would be nice to be able to go out whenever or for longer. I know we’ll get there, and some of that is just becoming comfortable breastfeeding in public and some of that is her not having these twice (thrice?) daily fussy periods. One more week until peek fussy…


Dr LadyHaving a hard time. There’s some shit at work and when she comes home, Lady Jr is entering into her evening fussy period, so she doesn’t have much downtime. I’m trying to do what I can, but it all seems to come down to bad timing. Also five weeks of just-barely-enough sleep to function for Dr Lady is wearing on her when she has to be alert and awake during the day.

Also, you know, the not really seeing each other part. So very looking forward to when Lady Jr can sleep in our bedroom and we don’t have to do sleep shifts any more. I can see the light at the end of that tunnel, but the distance is deceptive.

She’s also having a lot of trouble with my dad, who voted for Trump. I am, too, but I’ve had a lot more practice with his bizarre politics. It’s particularly difficult right now, though, because he’s here, helping out – getting food, holding Lady Jr, painting the house, doing all sorts of little projects around the house – and yet he voted for that flaming trashpile of a human being. So on the one hand, I’m so very grateful for all his help, but on the other hand, he voted to fuck up the country and our family’s future. It’s difficult to reconcile and it hurt (still hurts) a lot, but he’s just so damn thoughtless sometimes.

Dr Lady is particularly worried because the birth certificate the hospital filled out for us has her listed as father. We’re trying to figure out if that will become an issue, but it’s so hard to know and we’re all in completely uncharted territory. It shouldn’t, but then our VP tried to criminalize miscarriages, so. Logic goes right out the window.


Anyway, all together things are going well at 5 weeks, at least on the baby front.



Filed under gaybies, Lady Jr

6 responses to “Five Weeks Old

  1. Jen is listed as father on Ali’s birth certificate too, it shouldn’t be a problem. I would recommend doing a second parent adoption though, just in case the crap hits the fan for us gays during the next few years. Maybe dad can pay for it, since he’s part of why you need it 😉

  2. Amy

    I can’t believe she is 5 weeks already!! Where is the time going??
    Glad the fussies are somewhat manageable and that you are getting somewhat sufficient sleep. That’s the best we can hope for sometimes I think!
    Sorry about the awkward family dynamic caused by politics… I don’t know what I’d do if I found out an otherwise loved family member had voted for Trump. As for second parent adoption, my wife and I are going through that right now because we weren’t allowed to put my wife’s name on the birth registration with a known donor. It cost about $500 for us and we used 2 lawyers and a notary, but completed the paperwork ourselves for free. In Ontario, Canada, there is a website called the lgbtq parenting network that gives you the complete template to do it yourself. Maybe there is something like that in the US?

  3. We’re getting ready to do the 2nd parent adoption right now–just in case. I don’t trust the president-elect one bit.

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