I woke up at 12am to trade baby shifts with my wife last night. Unlike usual, she was fully awake. I went to bed thinking we’d have our first female president. But when I saw my wife’s face –
I couldn’t sleep. I held our baby and flipped between twitter and facebook and watched so many hearts shatter and so much fear spread. What should’ve been impossible had just become reality. I felt like we’d slipped into an alternate dimension and maybe we’d slip back at any moment. It couldn’t be real. That many people couldn’t be full of hate.
I never wanted to be political. I hate politics. But my very existence has been made political. My life, my wife, my child – these are all a part of politics in this country and for better or for worse, I’ve been forced to care.
On the way back from voting yesterday, my wife and I talked about the republican’s ridiculous promise to roll back gay marriage. I said it was stupid and cruel but impossible. Now, I’m not so sure. Dr Lady’s on Lady Jr’s birth certificate, but will that stop them if they pass a constitutional amendment? Will our family be protected?
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – those who voted for Trump won’t be affected by his actions. They won’t get their jobs back and they won’t see their taxes lowered, but they also won’t bear the brunt of the hate he’s ushered in. I can’t forgive them that, and I have close family members who voted for Trump. I don’t know how to reconcile this. They voted for a man and an ideology that has already bolstered and legitimized hatred against minorities and will only continue to grow worse. Yet they look me in the eye and say emails.
I have trans friends and black friends and Hispanic friends and I am so scared for them. And I am scared for Lady Jr. I thought our country had come far enough that we wouldn’t have to worry about the stigma of having two mothers like we might have had to 15, 10, even 5 years ago. I don’t believe that anymore.
Not even going to mention that my wife is an evolutionary biologist and our VP does not “believe” in evolution. The last time we had a republican house and senate and president, they decimated the science budget, something that is part of our current reality today. What will they do now? Will we still fund science at all in this country? And if so, will there be room for science they don’t agree with, like climate change and evolution? Like how they cut stem cell research back then?
What a mess.
I don’t know. I want to have hope, but the fact that a racist, xenophobic, homophobic, islamophobic, tiny-handed, narcissistic demagogue whose rallies were full of hate speech and an affront to the first amendment… well, if the punishment for all that is a presidency, what’s stopping others? There is no consequence for being a despicable human being.
We need to fix that.
But in the meantime, damage control. We need to protect the most vulnerable among us. We need to love. We need to have compassion. And we need to defy hate.