Today was the day we told our immediate families about the, uh, current situation. I’d been waffling on when to tell people, but between an earlier OB appointment than I’d expected and wanting family to know before we saw them at the end of March, I figured now was a good a time as any.
Of course, yesterday I might have had a mild panic attack about telling them so “early” and what would happen if something went wrong in the next week or two – but then I spent 20min breathing and took a nap and now I’m mostly okay. I mean, really, the alternative is telling them after the next OB appt at 13 weeks, which would have been right after seeing them and therefore meant an entire weekend of either downplaying my exhaustion and food-not-wanting or pretending I had flu.
And why is it culturally appropriate to even wait until 12-14 weeks? Miscarriage rates are already pretty darn low by 9, and while they continue to drop each week, there’s no magical moment of safety at the end of the first trimester. One article I read suggested that this timing is likely because that’s when most ladies start to show.
We told Lady’s mom first, because she happened to choose this weekend to come visit. All Lady had to do was say “Soooo – it’s a good thing you came this weekend -” and her mom got all teary and gave me a hug.
My parents were next, and I got to tell my brother and sis-in-law at the same time since mom & dad are out there visiting – and helping with their new baby. I didn’t know how to bring it up, so right after connecting on Skype, I sent them an email with just the ultrasound photos, and then told mom to check her email. Since she doesn’t really know how to use her technology, the video turned off for a bit while she looked and then all I could hear was sobbing. Good sobbing. And the others in the background going “What???”
We told Lady’s sister and bro-in-law and kids last. Lady wrote up an actual email and attached the photos, then did the same thing I did when we logged onto skype – asked if her sister had checked her email. Her sis is much better at technology, so we actually got to watch her reaction. Then try to explain it to our nieces, which was kind of hilarious and adorable.
So yay, immediate family knows. We’re going to tell the rest of family after the next OB appointment, and then decide when to make it “facebook official.”