Fall Down 8 Times, Get Up 9

We got a no on France.

Again.

Backstory: Dr Lady applied for a fellowship in November to study viruses in France at a prestigious lab where the head scientist really wants her. There was a previous opportunity for the same thing in September that fell through, but she would’ve been filling someone else’s spot. This would have been under her own terms.

We were expecting an answer in mid-February. Not this soon. I’m glad we know now instead of later, but damn – I was not braced for it.

The biggest thing this means for us: we still have no idea when/where we’re moving. Dr Lady has been applying to other postdocs and jobs, but of course both of us had our heart set on this one. And this seemed it would happen – the PI wants her there working for him, for crying out loud. But funding is a big issue, just as it is here, and the fellowship givers had their own funding cut, so.

It’s hard not to look back at last year and all the opportunities that shone before us then, only to watch them darken and shrivel up one by one. I’m tired of this game and I’m tired of being shoved down each time. I don’t know what else to do, though. I have so little control over these big things in our lives.

All I know is that I’m going to spend a little time on the ground here, regaining my bearings. Then I’m going to get back up again.

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5 Comments

Filed under France, goals, simply informative

5 responses to “Fall Down 8 Times, Get Up 9

  1. I’m so sorry that France is a no-go. Hoping that the closed door leads to an amazing open window somewhere.

  2. Oy, I’m sorry. It can get really frustrating and painful to get bad news time after time. I hope that this means new doors opening in other places.

  3. Fat Girl Dancing

    I wanted it for you and Lady so much, I was really hoping just the power of my wanting would make it happen. I’m sorry.
    Love you guys.

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