We are exactly one month out from the day we learn whether or not we’re moving to France.
I am six days away from learning whether or not we can try this cycle.
I am two rejections away from getting told to revise my story.
I am waiting on so much and in control of so little.
So I’m trying to control what I can. For me, that’s writing every day. Reading every day. Lifting and running and caring for my body. Trying desperately not to think about where we’ll be next month (next month [next month]).
All I can do is focus on today, on now. Today, the sun is shining. Today, I have a job to do. Today, I have 500 words to write. Today, I have weights to pick up and put down. Today, I have a friend to visit. My mantra is today, today, today. What can I do today?
Because frankly, a month from now we may still not know where/when we’re moving. A week from now, I still won’t know whether or not this is our last IUI. And when/if those rejections come in, all they will mean is not yet.
I’m so bad at waiting for it. But I guess I’m learning to get better at what I’m bad at.