I want so much to put 2015 away and never look at it again. It was, to put it lightly, not a good year for me. The depression that started in 2014 got worse and a lot of our life is simply up in the air right now. I do not do well with uncertainty, but I spent more than half the year wondering what the hell was going to happen next.
And yet it was an amazing year. My wife kicked down nay-sayers and punched through barriers and not only passed her doctoral defense, but fucking owned it. I quit my anxiety-inducing job and spent three months cleaning the house, seeing friends, and writing, then found a much chiller job in the same pay bracket. I persevered with querying and writing and rewriting and landed an agent. I watched several of you finally have some damn success in your TTC journeys. I went to fucking Geneva and spoke French and ate baguettes. I got to see my new niece.
And most importantly, all of my TTC fears came true, yet I’m still here. No fear left. What happens, happens, and I’ll survive it, and soon I’ll be done, ready to move onto a new life – whatever that may be. Ready to thrive with whichever outcome the universe deigns to give us.
Entering 2016 and leaving 2015, I’m letting go of all that darkness and choosing to remember the good things instead. My Doctor Lady. My agent. My cats. My friends & family. My online community. My stubborn ability to keep fucking getting back up every time I’m knocked down, even if sometimes I stay down a little longer than usual.
Here’s to a healthy, happy, and fulfilling 2016. ❤