Sperm Banks & Donors Redux

I’ve been offline for most of the past week, week and a half, inbetween finishing up some obligations and Seattle and getting back from Seattle and returning to a semblance of normalcy. Which means I have a lot of catching up to do, but it also means Lady and I had a lot of time to talk and go over banks and look for donors and decide exactly what we want to do.

We’ve pretty much decided on the Seattle Bank and found three donors that we both like a lot. Of course our top choice doesn’t have any vials available – just a “please call us!” note – so we’re going to call and see what’s up. With two months before we start, there might be a chance that there will be more? Who knows. That’s why we have back-ups. Thankfully, our RE said we can get IUI or ICI vials, and the other two have either one or the other. ICI is preferable because it’s a wee bit cheaper, but the numbers are already boggling my mind so a few hundred here and there is really hard to be concerned about (even though we should!).

Our process was pretty simple: mostly just picking an eye color and height and CMV- and seeing what was left. 🙂 After that, we went through them one by one, reading their histories and listening to the audio samples and eating cupcakes. We were looking for a mixture of kindness and ambition, which our top choice has in spades.

So, that’s pretty much decided (knock on wood!). We also decided while we were looking that we would pick someone who could work for both of us. The RE put it in our heads that we might want to use the same donor if this works and we want a second kid. I hadn’t even thought that far ahead, because I can barely get past January, let alone this actually working. At first I didn’t even want to think about it, lest we jinx ourselves, but then we had lots of bus rides in Seattle and I had lots of time to think. So yeah, it makes sense to try to keep the same donor, especially because Lady would go next. I feel like that would help them out a lot in this big, scary world, if we gave them at least one small thing to bond over.

The other big decision was choosing to go all out aggressive on the drugs. I took your advice and my history and our (likely) narrow window into consideration and decided we have nothing to lose if we go all out. If Dr Lady gets this fellowship, we’ll only have January through March to try, and I had already decided that I am absolutely going to be done by April. I really want a kid, but I don’t want to wreck my mental health getting there. That’s not good for anyone. So three months.

Ideally, that means three tries. If we went au naturel, there would be no guarantee of that. My cycle is fun!! and whacky!! and completely unpredictable!! and it is entirely possible that if we didn’t do drugs, we might not even get a chance in those three months. It’s happened before. Although the metformin seems to be helping, I am absolutely not willing to risk it. The stress isn’t worth the relatively small monetary and physical savings.

So: yes drugs. Probably letrozole aka femara. Everything I’ve read points to that being the better option, even though (because?) it’s more expensive than clomid. More tolerable, more success, and a slightly less chance of twins. Dr Lady and I spent a lot of time looking at the increased chances of twins on clomid, especially when there is a history of twins in one’s family. I am absolutely not against twins – if they happen, they happen – but I don’t want to increase the chances if I can help it.

Whew. Now I just have to take the next two months and adhere to a strict PCOS diet and take extra good care of myself and sacrifice a number of small, adorable animals to the fertility gods.


TL;DR: We picked out our donors and decided to go with letrozole right off the bat in January. Woo!



Filed under gaybies, simply informative, TTC

6 responses to “Sperm Banks & Donors Redux

  1. Positive visualizations for your family from Vancouver Island~

  2. Congrats on picking a donor (and backups)! It’s a good feeling, right?! I don’t know about the Seattle bank, but our sperm bank has the ‘please call’ notice if they have a low quantity of samples so you have to order by phone instead of online. So maybe that’s what’s going on with your first pick. It seems like January is so far away and yet, will be here before we know it! Our first attempt will happen the first week of the month. Here’s to hoping 2016 brings us both good fortune! 🙂

  3. Congrats & good luck! The donor pick is very hard. We went with ssb too and have been very pleased with their service.

  4. Animal sacrifices usually do the trick…good luck this time around!

  5. We are grappling with the sibling issue too. We definitely want more than one, and we definitely want them to have the same donor, but we have NO IDEA how many vials to buy. We’re buying 1 by 1 until it works, and then probably buying 7 for future sibling(s). Or 10. I don’t know. It’s maddening.

  6. Yay! love when things start to fall into place! Lots of positive vibes your way!

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