I’ve become less and less engaged in the blogging TTC community lately. Less likely to write about it. Less likely to comment. I still try to keep up, and I’m still rooting for quite a few of you, but for the most part I’ve been withdrawing.
At first, I didn’t do this intentionally, but having noticed I’m not going to do anything to correct it. I know it’s a way to protect myself if/when the time comes for us to throw in the towel. I can picture a lot of things about our future right now – wearing pretty dresses in France, exploring Europe by rail, writing my next book, watching sunsets, holding my brother’s little girl, getting published, attending fancy parties, cooking amazing new things, and overall having a grand adventure with my wife. But I simply can’t picture a child anymore.
I hate feeling ungrateful for all that, and largely I’m not. We are so, so blessed and lucky and I can’t help but look at the last month and all that has happened in absolute awe.
Which makes this withdrawal process a little easier. This was – and still is – a life blog instead of just a TTC blog, so I won’t be going anywhere, but those posts will diminish. Instead, I’m going to try to focus on those positive aspects of my life, and share how we’re preparing for France. 🙂