Tomorrow marks the end of my first two weeks of (f)unemployment. How is it going so far? Well, let’s see:
- Not stressing about leaving a minute or two late in the morning.
- Not stressing about hitting every light on the way to work.
- Not stressing about being late to work in general.
- Going home at noon.
- Working in the library.
- Working at my own pace.
- Having space to cry instead of bottling it up and turning it into a panic attack.
- Taking breaks / eating lunch whenever I want.
- Going outside whenever I want.
- Going for hikes whenever I want.
- Getting errands done.
- Having enough time to make a special treat for Dr Lady, like creme brulee.
- All the writing.
- All the editing.
- Getting to have coffee breaks with friends during the weekday.
- Not being online constantly.
- Not dwelling on negative thoughts.
- No one shouting “GOOD MORNING” and expecting a response when I’m trying to work.
- Time to learn French.
- The need to be doing something productive at all times to avoid feeling lazy.
- The feeling that I should be cleaning/organizing/doing errands because I don’t have a paying job.
- Anxiety that I will never find a part-time job.
- The basic shame that accompanies being (f)unemployed in our society.
- Convincing myself that the agent made a big mistake and will realize it any moment.
- Seriously, why am I not cleaning the kitchen right now?
But I absolutely do not regret quitting that job. Just… hopefully I can find a part time one before my money anxieties get the best of me.