There’s been such good news in my life lately that I’ve almost forgotten about TTC, which has turned out to be for the better. I’ve been so distracted and happy that I haven’t had a chance to be frustrated and bitter that another TTC cycle has passed us by.
It seems petty to whine amongst all the excitement, and to be honest, I’m really quite fine – it feels like a trade-off. I can have the one thing, I can’t have the other. And that’s okay. I got the better option. Writing is my life, my passion, and when I play that game that all couples invariably do, the what-would-I-give-up-for-you game, the I-love-you-more-than-game, I’ve told my wife I’d give up anything and everything in the world for her – except writing.
So yeah. If the universe is only going to dole out a few good things and I’m not allowed to be greedy (so greedy), then I will take the agent any day.
But I can’t help but feel a little bit frustrated and a little bit “well of course.” The last two cycles were perfect 28/29 days. I made the assumption that this one would be too. Our donor wasn’t going to leave until the end of the month.
But then I didn’t ovulate and I didn’t ovulate and our donor bumped up his leave date and we missed the window again – like last time – by only a few days. Well – of course that would happen. Of course.
Anyway, I’m not going to dwell. Thank the gods I quit my job, so I no longer have endless hours to sit at my desk and do nothing but dwell. And I’m going to be less stressed now and maybe all that sugar at work the last two weeks didn’t help and I’m also going to up my metformin to the full, doctor-recommended, 2000mg dose and we’ll just see how August goes, hmm?
We have two more cycles to try, at least.