It’s CD3 (or 4?) of what should be the first cycle of our last round of TTC – at least for me. Should be, because CD1 caught me by surprise by being two days early. I’m not sure what that means, although like any sane person, I’m overthinking it. I decided to choose to believe that I ov’ed earlier than I thought, although that means being overseas might interfere with our next attempt.
I’m hoping and crossing my fingers that the stress of travel will delay my next ov day by a few days, but I know better than to plan on it. What’s another month, right? Just more waiting.
I guess that means I can be a little less careful about food while we’re over there, which is a relief. Honestly, I’ve been a whole lot less strict these past weeks and I actually feel better for it. I went from very low carb to just low carb, with the occasional chocolate shake, and the nausea and shakes and weakness disappeared instantly. Apparently I just don’t do well on a VLC diet, with or without metformin. I would be concerned about not listening to my RE, except that I feel so much better. It’s like night and day when I allow myself more carbs.
Also, at the same time that I started eating more carbs, not only did my appetite return and my nausea go away, but I started losing weight. What the ever-living fuck kind of sense does that make? I’m doing the same amount of exercise – honestly, a little less because we’ve been lazy about biking to work now that it’s hot – and eating more and that somehow equates to a smaller number on the scale. Whatever. You just do what you want, body, and I’m going to eat another delicious cookie.
Anyway. I don’t know what’s going on in a lot of ways. I hope we can start TTC again this cycle, but there’s really no point in planning around it. I’m just going to try to breathe and enjoy the upcoming trip. It’s not like I believed this cycle – or the next or the one after that – would even work, so it should be easy to let go, right?