Moving Forward

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The parents have all left. The fanfare is all over. Dr Lady signed her official acceptance for the postdoc job in her current lab. We are moving ever forward.

And now we’re officially in the who-the-fuck-knows-what’s-going-to-happen-next stage. We have no idea where we’ll be in a year and only a fraction of an idea where we’ll be in six months, which all makes planning very difficult and you know how much I need to plan, even if it eventually gets thrown out the window.

At least I know where we’ll be and what we’ll be doing in the next six weeks. We still have to finish planning our trip to Switzerland and then immediately after that we get to kickstart TTC again. And between both I’ll be querying my story.

But then we hit July and the future gets extra murky. Will the first TTC cycle work? Will I still be working at my current job? Will I quit and find a job that pays less but gives me more time? Or will I wait an extra month or two (or three) and save as much money as possible so I won’t have to work again until after we move?

But when will we move?? Will it be January, which seems most likely right now? Or will Dr Lady find an amazing opportunity sooner than that which would force us to move in the fall? Or will she apply in November to this one amazing postdoc, which would mean a move in the spring? Or what about that postdoc in France?? – but that would mean moving a whole year from now, next summer.

How am I supposed to plan???

In fits and bursts, apparently. But I’ve already drawn up five separate contingency plans depending on what happens. It’s like TTC, in a way, except I know that sometime in the next six months we’ll know what’s up.

Honestly, I just wish my current job would let me drop down to part-time. I didn’t go in yesterday until close to noon and worked five hours and it was so wonderful. I was focused. I got things done. More than I even usually do during an eight hour day. And I had had the morning to get my life organized, so I had the evening completely free. But that’s Not How Things Are Done, so even though it would make me happy and more productive, it’s not an option. They would rather I just leave than keep me on part time, which is depressing in its own way.

In the meantime, I have more than enough to focus on, if only I would actually focus on it. The nitty gritty of querying is not nearly as exciting to think about as how/where/what I’ll be doing in the near future.

Patience, though. I’ve been practicing patience for the last year. I can keep doing it.

Any tips on how to focus on the present are always helpful, though. ❤

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3 Comments

Filed under goals, n steps, simply informative

3 responses to “Moving Forward

  1. AmyApplesnail

    I feel for you! My wife is going through the same job woes of keeping the job that pays but overworks, or trying to find another job with a less certain salary that lets her work less in preparation for having a family. I am 2 years away from my dissertation defense, but it leaves us with the same uncertainty of when/where we will be uprooting our life and what we will do then.
    I wish you strength to get through the stage of not knowing! Not being able to plan really sucks!!

  2. Not knowing is the absolute worst! I love a good plan, heck, I can even like a bad plan if I have to. But, living in limbo land just drives me mad. I hope you find a way to be mindful while life makes you wait to figure things out!

  3. You are more patient than you think. You can do the best for you day dream and let that keep guiding you for your plans.

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