Control Redux


We’ve got plans, guys.

They’re liable to change, but right now I’m clinging to them with the force/hope of a tired TTC-er. Hope? Did I just use that term? Maybe I did… maybe this forced optimism is working.

I wrote a few weeks ago about how much I like having control, or at least the semblance of it, and right now I feel like I have control again. Plans are really helpful like that.

I think it was also a really good idea for us to go to the RE during a break. So now we have two to three whole months to do tests, get things fixed, and see how things shape up without worrying unduly about missing cycles. And there are a few things that need to be done.

First plan: our donor doesn’t have the best count/morphology, but it’s not dismal and there are lifestyle changes he can make to better things. He has two months to see what he can do. I am confident that’s all the time he needs. Although he has to stop drinking (like me), which he didn’t seem too pleased about. I might have told him to tally all the beers he didn’t drink and we’d reimburse him when this was all over and that probably was a terrible idea. 😛

Second plan: getting the HSG and D&C done and seeing what those tell us. HSG is scheduled for next week. I’m not too worried about what that will show because whatever it does, we can probably fix. Then the D&C will make things squeaky clean and hopefully we’ll be done with procedures well before Lady’s graduation.

Third plan: focusing on my own care. Like our donor, I’m no longer drinking and shoring up my diet wherever I can. This will likely take about the same two months to see any changes, so again – good thing we’re doing this during a break.

Fourth plan: see where we are in two months. Ideally, we can restart at home insems at that point.

Fifth plan: stay focused on the eventual outcome. By the time we leave AZ, one of us will most likely be pregnant. I am focusing on that more and more right now, and I’m hoping that will make the individual attempts less stressful. We have a lot of months ahead and I will have (more) regular cycles soon, with or without meds. We’ve got an RE involved now so we won’t be flailing in the dark like we were before.

I know a whole lot more could go wrong. I know there are still no guarantees. But just having this longer term Plan is really helping me feel like I have control again, and helping me to chill the fuck out. I’m also trying so hard to be optimistic, and seeing this plan laid out before me looks a whole lot like we might get somewhere.

We will get somewhere.

This will happen.



Filed under gaybies, goals, simply informative, TTC

2 responses to “Control Redux

  1. Just a thought, it might be best if you get the d&c and then the hsg. A d&c can sometimes cause adhesions or other problems the hsg could then catch.

    • Hmm, hadn’t thought about that. But the dr wanted to do the HSG first in case I had blocked tubes so that they could just go in and open them during the D&C procedure. Pros and cons. :/

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