TTC Round 2, #1 | DPO 15

Or is it DPO14? There is a SLIGHT possibility that could be the case, since I only started temping exactly two Thursdays ago. Let this be a lesson to you that avoiding temping for a few days around ov does not, in fact, make the two week wait any easier or faster.

Either way, be it DPO 14 or 15, things are odd. I looked back through my posts and my temp consistently declines on DPO14 – sometimes even 13. Yet it’s still elevated. I half expected it to say I had a fever this morning, actually, because I had some really intense dreams about getting a 170 degree temp reading and having the thermometer give up in a puff of red dust.

Yes, I know, vivid dreams are another indicator of potential pregnancy.

Lady is playing symptom bingo with me and it’s pretty adorable. I mentioned some of my symptoms to her and was like “but it doesn’t matter because they could be symptoms for PMS too” and she went ahead and googled them anyway. Then she came back all flustered and annoyed, because that is exactly what she found: half the internet says such-and-such is a sign of pregnancy, the other half says it’s a sign of impeding period. I was like “yup” and she was like “holy shit this is frustrating.”

We decided we should actually make up a BFP symptoms bingo card. If you get bingo, your reward is a pregnancy test. Which is both hilarious and cruel.

I’ve swung back towards knowing we’re out for this cycle. My temp hasn’t dropped, but I feel that mild uncomfortableness I get right before starting. IDK what the higher temp means, but all the wondfos have been very negative and I even caved and tried the ol’ use-an-OPK-instead trick and it was pale-pale-pale. Still, we almost caved and got FRER’s last night, but I just know in my gut if we spring for them now, they’ll be negative. I can wait until tomorrow.

It’s time for me to start thinking about the next cycle and reminding myself of all the possibilities yet to come. I’ve been pretty depressed this past week and it’s been hard for me to think positively about the future, but some of that is flaking away. I was actually a little excited about going to an RE and all the stuff we might learn. Weirdly, although I hate going to the doctor, seeing one for the first time is still a little fun. Probably because there’s still a little hope that they can help, and especially after reading about all of your experiences.

I’m finally writing again, too – it’s been weeks – and I’m trying to get excited about February. This will be a new start, a new beginning. Hopefully I can lay January to rest and finally move on.

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1 Comment

Filed under BFN, depression, gaybies, TTC, two week wait

One response to “TTC Round 2, #1 | DPO 15

  1. The opk as a pregnancy test isn’t very useful it’s not add sensitive as hpts. I hope your temps stay up. It’s be nice if there were more answers in this game.

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