You know how you let something go for a day and then another day and soon it’s been too many days and you’re afraid to come back to it because the sheer act of looking at it and acknowledging how long, how much you’ve let it slide terrifies you? And that terror keeps you away even longer, making the act of return more impossible and daunting by the day?
Sometimes it’s good to remember all it takes is just a little effort, a little self forgiveness. Let all those days you’ve saved up in your guilt bank just go and ignore the interest. I’ll start the happy days project again soon (with photos!), but it was giving me too much stress to go back to it once I let it lapse a day (or two, or three). Same with my querying and several other projects. It’s time to just take a deep breath and do one small thing, even if it feels inconsequential at the time.
So here’s my one thing. And here’s my other: today I am happy (and grateful) to live in a state where 40 degrees is pretty damn cold and it doesn’t get much colder than that. I’ll put up with the 110 degree days (and weeks [and months]) for that.
And here’s my yesterday: I am happy (and grateful) for my friends and all the varieties they come in. I am especially happy for my D&D group – which is still patiently (re)teaching me how to do spell resistance rolls after all these years (again and again [and again]), but gleefully accepting my undead, hollowed-out, flying pachyderms.
And here’s my Saturday: I am happy (and grateful) for the invention of Skype, for the ability to span distances and time zones and see and speak to friends how have moved or who we’ve moved away from. I need to use this magical technology to connect with more friends, even if I end up making faces at the screen more than half the time (but I’m getting better! Used to be 89% of the time).
And here’s my Friday: I am happy (and grateful) that I have finally shed so much of my youthful insecurity, especially when it comes to music. Taylor Swift is awesome and so is Muse and Weird Al and Dvorak and Lady Gaga and you can just handle. It. And I am happy (and grateful) to be able to access so much music and have the disposable income to actually pay for it.
Now breathe. Let go. I got this.