Maybe Baby #4 | DPO 10 & I Cheated

I tested.

Sorry. (Not sorry.)

But you would have, too, if you’d just had a restless night full of dreams about positive pregnancy tests. I even dreamed that I had visited my ob-gyn to confirm and start doing whatever tests it is one does at first. Then I chickened out because doctors make me super uncomfortable and I rationalized that I had already tested positive, I didn’t need to be there. Oh dreams. That’s totally not what I would do in real life (yes it is).

It was negative. I was both surprised and unsurprised. Oddly, I wasn’t as disappointed as I was last time I tested at 10DPO. I think all those dreams just left me with a very strong conviction that is difficult to shake.

I’ll try not to test again before Saturday, but if I have another night of dreams like that I can’t make any promises.

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6 Comments

Filed under gaybies, TTC, two week wait

6 responses to “Maybe Baby #4 | DPO 10 & I Cheated

  1. wtfovaries

    I found it very difficult to not test as well in my one and only TWW. I guess I will have to decide what want to do if I get another one, ha! Fingers crossed for you!!

  2. nkaune

    Thank you for sharing your journey! I am literally on the same CD and in similar circumstances as you.

    I try really hard not to test too early (but I did on CD 9 – neg) and not to consider each and every little twinge I feel (or don’t feel for that matter,) during the 2ww. It is tough. AND it’s hard to find blogs and posts that tell it like it is and don’t fill you full of false hope. This blog has been a little sunny spot of sanity in the chaos of ttc drama on the web.

    I’ve been tracking my temps and find that to be the best, most reliable and most centering source of information about my body. When I start to freak about about the “what if”s or “does this mean something?” or “did we miss it?”, I go back to my chart and remind myself where I’m at and that everything is ok. We’re on track and doing what we are supposed to do. It’ll happen.

    Good luck to you and your wife and again – THANK YOU for sharing!

    • You’re welcome! I’m glad I could do a little to combat all that glitter-washed false hope that seems to permeate TTC. Every single time I go looking for answers about some symptom or other question, I end up on those awful baby boards where ladies are telling other ladies who have BFN’s on 16DPO and started spotting that it’s “not over yet!!” and I get a little sick. I really need to write a long, rant-filled post about that bizarre phenomenon. Someday.
      Also YES TEMPING. I don’t know what I’d do without temping and I really don’t understand how some ladies can time things without it. It’s been beautiful for me and I’m glad it’s working well for you, too.
      Thank you!

  3. I’m sorry. I’m not going to say “it’s not over until day 18” or anything silly like that. I hope the rest of the week passes quickly for you.

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