Already halfway through! Although this time around, I am tempted to start testing on DPO 10 instead of DPO 14 because a) I have a ton of wondfo pregnancy tests and b) I’m impatient. Oddly, though, not nearly as impatient as the two previous tries. I am not constantly asking Lady if it has been two weeks yet. I am not constantly googling early pregnancy symptoms.
Frankly, the latter is due to not having any symptoms this time. After playing symptom bingo (and winning!! if winning = scoring all the symptoms) with nausea, exhaustion, sore breasts, and heightened sense of smell last time, I’m a bit surprised there’s been nothing so far. Was that all just in my mind? Surely not. But maybe it was just a disruption in my hormones caused by the sudden influx of sperm. That’s the only thing I can fathom.
Because really, right now, day 7, there is no way to know. If I’m cytoplastic, then in a day or two implantation will happen and a day later, HCG will start to be produced, but in too small quantities to cause any symptoms or be detected. Only a few days after that could anything turn up positive.
So I’m stuck with Schrödinger’s baby. Did it work or did it not work? I don’t know – I can’t know – and I think this cycle, round three, I have finally accepted that. I am trying to simply emanate calm and peace and keep my mind off the subject entirely.
Of course, that only works half the time. 🙂
The other half of the time, I’ve been:
– Purposefully not googling anything at all
– Totally not googling anything at all
– Okay maybe googling only one little thing
– Then spending an inordinate amount of time getting annoyed at how useless all the baby boards are
– Seriously, where is the research? The data? The scientific studies? WHY DOES MY CERVIX HURT??
– Calculating the potential due date
– Cutting down caffeine
– Guiltily sneaking sips of wine
– Stealing pineapple from my sister-in-law’s plate
– Exchanging meaningful glances with sister-in-law when both of us refuse wine
– Wondering if using the heating pad to keep the sperm warm was a good idea this time
– Fearing that biking might jostle the egg loose
– Trying to convince myself I can’t jinx this
– Becoming convinced I’ve jinxed this
– Becoming hopeful
– Staying hopeful
– Secretly growing convinced that it’s a boy
– Temping despite saying I wouldn’t
– Being absolutely befuddled when my temp dips then rises in the same night
– Feeling a TWINGE and trying to remain nonchalant
– Not feeling any twinges and worrying
– Wondering how it’s only been seven days
– Wondering how I’ll survive another seven.
Come on, day 10!