Maybe Baby | DPO 2 or CD 1

The saga of WTF is my body doing continues.

Just as soon as I think I’ve got it figured out and everything is back into the realm of normalcy, things get weird again. I should have been more skeptical of the perfect that was Friday/Saturday. I am also trying to be more patient and not freak the fuck out, but sometimes it’s difficult.

Needless to say, I am very very glad I got my anxiety attacks under control well before starting this process. I can’t imagine playing symptom bingo with the added certainty that I probably have (insert rare disease here).

The last cycle taught me patience and I’m trying to keep that going. So much can change in as a little as a day that I don’t want to have a freak out and then a few hours later be like “sorry, my bad.” Or even a few days. Almost everything seems to smooth out after a few days. Especially if I stop googling every little thing.

That said, I’m still worried. And confused. I had a really light period two weeks ago, thought I ov’ed this weekend, and then got crampy and started again yesterday. From what I understand of the interplay between hormones, it doesn’t remotely make sense that I could have actually started, but at the same time I’m trying to trust my body and… it is what it is. Which means this attempt was a wash.

It also doesn’t help that I’ve been feeling nauseated more often in the past month than I have in years and years and years. I spent several hours feeling miserable Saturday night, but I’m pretty sure that was related to something I’d eaten. Then Sunday was also very blah and full of lightheadedness. I could probably blame all those things on a hundred unrelated things, but of course I am convinced they are all somehow related to our TTC attempts.

I expected the frustration and stress to come calling when we were months down the line, certainly not this soon. I believe this calls for a nice bath and a good book tonight, if only to help calm down and stop my brain from circling the Dr. Google drain of rare and horrible diseases. I’m sure it’s probably just my hormones renormalizing and not something like an ectopic pregnancy.



Filed under gaybies, TTC, two week wait

2 responses to “Maybe Baby | DPO 2 or CD 1

  1. I think you’re onto something about the stress. High levels of stress wreak havoc on menstrual cycles, and if your stress is *about* your cycle, then it’s gonna snowball. I think you need to find some task that will force your brain to think about some other problem. Some art or construction project you’ve been meaning to do that would occupy you for several weeks or months?

  2. Stress really gets me too. Whenever I’d go home for the summer in college, it was very stressful on me, I’d have like 1 period for the whole three month stretch sometimes. It was weird. Hasn’t happened before or since that.

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