Well. That happened.
Everything came together rather quickly. I’d been just chastising myself for not trusting my body when suddenly all of my symptoms pointed to pending ovulation. It was a lot sooner than we had planned for, since charting had predicted later this weekend, but we scrambled and somehow everything fell in place and I was left standing with a jar of semen.
First of all, ew. Second of all, I knew I’d be squicked out by the whole donor and donation part, but I was surprised by just how squicked I was. I guess that’s a bonus of using a clinic and unknown donor – the reality of where that genetic material comes from is never quite so in your face. But I still hold firm that a known donor was the best choice for us, even if that means I end up pushing against some of my boundaries. I doubted our decision to do this more than any other time when I saw that jar.
I might be able to post more details in the future, but for now, I’ll just say we mostly followed these step by step instructions. There was a tad bit of an emergency with the donor suddenly feeling quite ill – apparently it’s not a good idea to ingest large amounts of spicy chicken wings earlier in the day, fyi – and we had to make sure he wasn’t going to die before we drove him home, so timing wasn’t super awesome. But as I told my wife, this is mostly a trial run, anyway. First time TTC almost never works, right?
I went into this one with that attitude, but was surprised when suddenly I was convinced this might actually happen. I think that’s a hold over from my ignorant days believing that you could get pregnant if there were sperm in the same room as you. So many ladies avoid the stuff and do all they can to kill it, and there we were doing the exact opposite. It was a bit surreal. This is how you make babies. We might have just made one. It’s such a simple process, and yet it can be infinitely complicated.
It seemed like all the doubts and weirdness and hesitations I could possibly have had, I had within a few hours. It was, all in all, an intense experience. This morning I felt much better, much calmer, although there was still a little of the “did we really – ?”
Now as I write this and go through my day, a little of the baby fever is starting to creep back in. I’m a little more excited. We might have timed this right. I might have actually trusted my body and read it correctly for once. But only time will tell.
Here’s to the two week wait.